


91 Days of Winter

by Katrinova



Series: Yuuri Week 2017 [1]
Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Anxiety, Depression, Family, Fluff, Friendship, M/M, Romance, Yuuri Week 2017
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-23
Updated: 2017-07-23
Packaged: 2018-12-05 19:46:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,602
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11584947
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Katrinova/pseuds/Katrinova
Summary: What if Vicchan had lived? Or, Yuuri and his “Two Victors.”Part of Yuuri Week 2017Day 1- [Theme: Terra Incognita]





	91 Days of Winter

**Author's Note:**

> Day one is Terra Incognita, also known as "Unknown Land" used as a cartography for unexplored regions. 
> 
> An AU where the results of the Sochi GPF turned out very different as Yuuri's state of mind would have changed drastically had he not lost Vicchan. Optional theme is "seasons".

Winter used to be Yuuri’s least favorite season. He supposed it was ironic, considering he spent most of his life on ice; a place he also felt at home, competing in a winter sport.

Perhaps it was because of where he’d grown up. Winters could be harsh, but they didn’t usually last long. Then the cherry blossoms would bloom in spring, the onsen would once again be busy, the town would be bustling with activity and festivals. To Yuuri—when spring came and washed the bleakness and murk of winter away—it was like coming home.

Winter was none of those things. The shorter days made him feel tired constantly, competition season was a source of stress; he spent so many of those days in an anxious fog. Too much snow prevented travel and he felt even more isolated than he had those first few months after his move to Detroit. Something bad always seemed to happen during winter. Now he was going to lose his beloved dog who he hadn’t even seen in five years.

Vicchan was yet another someone Yuuri had let down. 

Yuuri wasn’t there for him...he never even got a chance to say goodbye, to tell him how much he loved and missed him. He wondered if Vicchan really remembered him sometimes. He’d seen him plenty of times while video chatting with Mari, but Vicchan probably just wondered why he wasn’t  _there_.

Today was the free skate for the Sochi Grand Prix Final. It was surreal to think that after his short program he was sitting in possible medal contention. He was currently fourth, below Cao Bin and Christophe Giacometti. Victor of course led the field by a large margin.

Days leading up to any competition he typically spent in a haze. To alleviate the feeling he tried to focus on a singular purpose, but it worsened when news of Vicchan’s accident reached him. It wasn’t until his coach nudged him that he remembered where he was—what he was supposed to be doing.

“Yuuri,” Celestino called out to him. “It’s your sister.”

Yuuri suddenly felt like he didn’t know how to get up. He felt his weight sink further into the bench he found in an isolated corridor of the arena. For a moment he simply stared at the item his coach held out to him— _my own phone_ , his brain dimly reminded.

Hesitantly he pushed off the bench and forced his body into motion, accepting the device. He was vaguely aware of his coach watching over him as he held it up to his ear. He opened his mouth to speak—to greet her, to say  _something_ , but no words would come.

“Yuuri?” Mari must have heard his breathing. She called his name one more time and sighed. His heart sank and his throat closed up further.

“Listen to me, Yuuri,” Her voice held a firmness but recent stress and emotion gave it a shake. “He’s going to be okay, do you hear me? Vicchan...he’s  _fine_.”

Yuuri choked, palm slapping over his mouth and muting his gasp. He was now aware of Celestino’s hand on his shoulder, firm and bracing.

Mari only paused a beat before continuing.

“He is roughed up, but he’s okay. He has to wear a cast for awhile. The vet also has him wearing a cone so he doesn’t muck with the stitches... he’s a little trooper,” She said with a fond chuckle if a bit watery.

Yuuri still couldn’t say anything. His grasp around the phone tightened. Once again he wished he was there.

“I can’t believe...” Mari sniffed and cleared her throat before continuing, “I mean, he nearly gets himself mauled by a car and basically gets back up like it was nothing. He probably considers it a good day too; sort of like a certain stubborn little brother of mine... he wasn’t ready to throw in the towel yet.”

“I--” Yuuri finally managed to get his brain to work and form words. Actual words. He felt like the fog pressing against his thoughts wasn’t so heavy. “He—He’s really okay?”

Mari hummed across the line.

“He’s comfortable at home now, if still sleepy from the anesthesia, but he’ll be watching you perform too,” She confirmed. She paused before adding one more thing.

“Good luck, Yuuri. He really is a lot like you, you know.”

* * * * *

After the call ended he quietly excused himself. Celestino always understood his need for solitude. He promised he would be back in time for the warm-up skate. Then he did the same thing he’d done in a random bathroom stall, after he’d sat listening to his mom’s voice. 

He broke down and cried. To no one, with naught but his thoughts for company.

Except it was different this time. Now the tears weren’t to a feeling of hopelessness and regret. Instead he cried his blessings and his thanks for this second chance. For Vicchan’s unwillingness to give up. 

For Yuuri, crying wasn’t always cathartic. Many times it only worsened the pounding in his head, but this time it felt cleansing. A much needed release following the guilt and turmoil he felt over his decision to leave home in the first place with his pet’s possible death looming over him. A rain that begun the re-cultivating process after a drought.

After awhile he straightened and fixed his appearance as much as possible.

He had to skate soon after all.

* * * * *

“Well, Yuuri,” Celestino said, giving him an encouraging pat on the shoulder at the barrier. “Are you ready to once again skate your heart out for the whole of Russia?”

Yuuri nodded but didn’t really have an answer for him. He handed over his hard guards and stepped onto the ice to do his laps. On a conscious level he felt like this was something he should be panicking over. Yet instead he was in an odd state of calm and lucidity. The world looked a lot different to him now than it had a few hours ago.

Yuuri was once again about to skate on the same ice as his idol in his home country, this time with a medal on the line. He knew it wasn’t likely that he would land a spot on the podium; there were many strong skaters in the competition, aside from Victor. Skaters who had been to a Grand Prix Final before.

But this was his chance to prove that he was supposed to be here. That he hadn’t qualified in the final six by fluke or chance. It didn’t feel conceptual anymore, this was  _real_.

If nothing else, he would do it for Vicchan. For the miracle that was his dog’s life; his perseverance and resilience—against so much adversity wrapped around such a tiny body—Yuuri would do the same. With those thoughts in mind, he glided into position at the center of the rink.

When the results rolled in he couldn’t believe it.

At his first Grand Prix Final—when he thought he was going to lose his dog, his chance to show everyone what he was truly capable of—Yuuri had won a silver medal.

* * * * *

After Yuuri received his medal he was immediately gathered by his coach to accept a video chat and was met with boisterous congratulations from his rinkmates at the Detroit Skating Club. Phichit was front and center, promising that next Grand Prix he would be on the podium with Yuuri. Chris, who he only edged out by less than a point, had congratulated him next—talking him into—or rather  _lightly_  coercing him into taking a selfie with their medals.

Victor, he noticed, was different after they’d left the ice, the din of the crowd far behind. He was...quiet. Yuuri had spent a lot of time fantasizing what it would be like to share a podium with him over the years. Yet it still felt like it wasn’t quite what he was expecting. When Victor noticed Yuuri staring, he flashed him a grin and wink while offering his own congratulations, like he’d seen during so many of Victor’s public appearances. Yuuri blushed and froze in place, but at the same time had a conflicting thought that the look didn’t really suit him.

These were the thoughts that occupied him at the banquet as he stood in front of a table filled with flutes of sparkling champagne. He warmed the cold glass between his fingertips, mindlessly watching the amber liquid swirl through hazy eyes. Letting out a heavy sigh he brought it to his lips and took a large gulp.

He really needed to get back. Celestino wouldn’t be happy that he’d been away from the group for so long. He'd just needed a few minutes to himself. It was overwhelming talking to so many important people, to so many people in general, but he’d been away long enough. As surreal as it was, he was a silver medalist at a Grand Prix Final. His resume was looking so much more promising. 

 _I even have official duties now_ , he thought with a smile and cautious optimism.

Yuuri blinked as the blurry shape of a pale hand entered his field of vision. Deft fingers wrapped around one of the flutes in front of him before darting out of sight. He exhaled and removed his blue framed glasses, rubbing his tired eyes.

“...Yuuri Katsuki?” 

His eyes shot open. Oh god...

That voice—ever loose and suggestive, standing as both a memory from childhood and an ideal he believed in—made every thought come to a screeching halt. 

Yuuri made a strangled sound and nearly dropped his glass, inwardly cursing his lack of composure and inability to actually not embarrass himself. Why did he still have to act this way around him? He just shared a podium with him!

Hesitantly, he replaced his glasses and turned to face the man behind him, hoping he was at least wearing a collected expression. He doubted it.

Victor was of course as gorgeous as every physical or mental picture Yuuri had of him. Yet he looked different. Yuuri wasn’t sure if it was just the lighting. They were all exhausted after the competition and gala, but it felt like something else. It was there; thick and heavy in his expression, something familiar now that Yuuri could see up close. He was used to seeing that look. It peered back at him through a mirror often on days when he couldn’t find the energy to pull himself out of bed.

Yuuri felt his face heat up and he cleared his throat. “Um. Yes?”

Victor looked bewildered and—was his face a bit flushed?

“You, you just look very different with your glasses in person—I didn’t recognize you when you walked in,” He observed, looking contemplative.

Yuuri had the random thought that if multiverse theory was right, he hoped his parallel self was having a better time than him.

The first time he actually had a conversation with his lifelong idol and he ends up more fixated on how Yuuri looks with or without his glasses. He wasn’t sure if he wanted to laugh in dismay or slink away upstairs and hide in his hotel room. He knew he couldn’t do that though. Celestino would drag him back bodily if needed. He was a silver medalist and ISU representatives and sponsors wanted to talk to him.

...How did this even become his life? This was officially the weirdest day.

Victor was looking at him strangely and Yuuri realized with mortification that he’d zoned out while staring for almost five minutes. The fact that Victor hadn’t walked away yet was a miracle.

“That look in your eyes just now...” Victor said, tilting his head. “It was similar to how you looked during your free skate. You look like you have a lot on your mind while you perform. Like you’re in another world.”

Yuuri thought of a lot of things while he skated. He didn’t think it would go over well if he mentioned that Victor was a frequent subject. 

“Oh, umm. That’s nice,” Yuuri mumbled.

Immediately after speaking he felt like an idiot. ‘ _Nice_?’ Really? Perhaps he could be eloquent for once in his life when the person who was both his idol and longtime crush decided to talk to him?

Victor didn’t seem to notice his internal meltdown.  _He looks...tired_ , Yuuri thought to himself again.

“You look like you’d rather be somewhere else,” Yuuri said without thinking.

“Do I?” Victor asked without inflection. “Do you want me somewhere else?” He then asked with a smirk.

“N-No, I just...”

Yuuri bit his lip. He was really going to do this, wasn’t he? There was actually some part of him that thought this was a good idea.

“Um. Victor?” He ventured, effort to speak in a firm manner in mind.

Victor raised an inquisitive brow and gestured for him to continue.

“My family runs an onsen in Hasetsu, a small harbor town. It’s a popular hotspot among tourists. You should—” Yuuri cleared his throat. “You could come? After skating season I mean. You’d be in my family’s care.” 

Victor regarded him, mild incredulity creasing his brow.

“That’s a little forward between competitors, don’t you think?” He replied, expression still unhelpfully blank.

Yuuri immediately wished he could take it back.

“Or,” Victor added before he could say anything. “If you’re looking for a good word I’d be happy to tweet about it? Word of mouth is the best advertisement.”

He then smiled brightly. It was that smile combined with his wording that made Yuuri feel disturbed. There was a resigned look to his eye.

Yuuri felt his stomach plummet. His resolve was crumbling; slipping through his fingers, but he still wanted another attempt. Victor seemed so different right now.  He wanted to know more about him, not what he read about. He needed to do it now, before the confidence gained from a successful competition left him.

He swallowed and tried again.

“You just—looked like you needed a break is all.”

Victor’s eyes widened.

“Anyway,” Yuuri demurred and backed away, ready to retreat. “The offer still stands...so please think about it.”

Yuuri bowed out of habit before turning and walking away. He tried, that was enough. He still had to prep for finals and finish off his last semester in Detroit next March. He still had the remaining competitions. After that...well, he hadn’t made any further decisions yet. He already skated on the same ice as Victor, what else could he do?

At least he wouldn't leave regretting that he never asked.

He didn’t notice Victor’s eyes following him until he was out of sight.

* * * * *

It seemed like Yuuri was in a state of constant disbelief these days. He won both Japan’s nationals and Four Continents, the latter which he’d never come in first. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d won back to back competitions. Not since his last year as a junior, before having to make the transition to seniors.

At Worlds he came in second—Victor won gold, his fifth consecutive world title—but that wasn’t the only thing the skating world was talking about. In just a few short months, Yuuri had closed the gap between their scores since the Grand Prix Final, by a few points just under half.

Victor may have been the gold medalist—but you’d think it was Yuuri—considering how loud the crowd was when the official placed the medal around his neck. He felt humbled, light and euphoric as he waved to the crowd in his home country. He finally brought them home two medals from two of the biggest skating competitions.

At one moment he noticed Victor had stopped interacting with the fans like normal. Instead he was looking at Yuuri with an inscrutable expression, leaving Yuuri to only guess what he was thinking. He wondered briefly if he was angry.

He decided to give Victor space.

* * * * *

Even though he knew Vicchan would eventually make a full recovery, it wasn’t enough to put Yuuri at ease. He needed to be there, he wanted to see his family and friends. Now with his final year of college concluded and a degree to show for it, he was going home.

When Yuuri returned he was relieved to see in person that Vicchan's recovery was going well. He couldn’t embrace him fully yet, being mindful of the splint. But seeing him and touching him again after so long was enough. His little body was so warm, his personality still so lively and full to the brim with effervescence.

Mari told him that it could’ve been worse, a lot worse if the driver hadn’t seen Vicchan dart across the road when he did. The damage had been minimal.

Yuuri could tell she blamed herself. They were never touchy but he knew she cared. She had been the one to take care of Vicchan during his absence.

“It’s okay, Mari,” He said to her. “He’s going to be okay...Vicchan’s fine,” He repeated what she’d said to him and hoped he conveyed that he didn’t hold her responsible at all. It was an accident.

Mari exhaled and smiled back at him.

* * * * * 

That summer had to be known as the ‘season of surprises,’ Yuuri decided.

Yet surprise didn’t begin to encompass the feeling a month later when Victor did show up for had been a planned week of vacation with his own poodle Makkachin. Vicchan had gained a fast friend in the full sized poodle while Victor was immediately entranced by their size difference.

Victor was different since their talk in Sochi, even more so since he’d seen him at Worlds. He was energetic, taking in the sights with childlike wonder as they walked their dogs together. It had baffled Yuuri at first, but his energy became endearing. He was so nice like this.

Victor could barely contain his excitement when he found out he shared Vicchan’s given name. He cooed to the “world’s second cutest poodle after Makkachin of course” about how they were twins. Yuuri wasn’t ready to reveal  _why_  that was just yet. 

He could tell his poodle was taken with Victor too. Vicchan had always been a dog with energy to spare and it went well with Victor’s personality. Yuuri had a passing thought and wondered if excitement was a trait shared among Victors, human or dog.

Victor had apologized for his initial reaction to the invite. He’d assumed Yuuri had only wanted a plug for the onsen. He also told Yuuri it had been a long time since anyone had invited him to do something that had nothing to do with skating.

Yuuri had no idea, but he felt warmth spread through him at Victor’s happy expression.

To Yuuri’s incredulity and embarrassment, Victor also revealed that the GPF wasn’t the first time he’d him skate. Yuuri also had a reputation among the other competitors for being elusive to the point of mysterious during competitions, only showing his face when the time came for him to actually skate. 

“You’re very intriguing, you know.” Victor added with a wink.

Yuuri was floored. He had no idea he even had a  _reputation_. Let alone could think other competitors found him ‘mysterious.’

To add to the ongoing list of ‘How to Fluster and Embarrass Yuuri this Summer’ there was the manner in which his mother started referring to them.

“Your two Vicchans are in the other room!” Hiroko called out to him cheerfully one morning. Mari burst out laughing from where she was eating breakfast.

“M-my...  _what_?” Yuuri shook his head and called a bit louder. "Victor?!”

“Yes?” Victor answered and Vicchan followed with an answering bark from his perch on Victor’s lap as they both gazed up at Yuuri earnestly. Makkachin was next to them and boofed happily. 

Yuuri felt the urge to clutch his chest. His “Two Victors”...he couldn’t believe it.

Before they knew it, a one week vacation would eventually turn into two and so on.

* * * * *

Next skating season would go down in history as the “Katsuki/Nikiforov rivalry.” For Yuuri and Victor, at most it was a friendly competitiveness, but they also made it no secret they were dating, as much as their busy schedules permitted. Predictably the tabloids exploded and the news was met with some pushback. Most notably columnists pointing out the conflict of interest, especially when rumors of Victor giving him advice that stepped on Celestino’s toes surfaced. This would be the first of many seasons they would end up being a source of ire and dismay to both the JSF and FFKKR.

Yuuri didn’t think it was a big deal. Victor was known to give skaters advice. He knew Victor held too much love and respect for the sport to ever throw a competition, so he felt complaints of nepotism were unfounded.

“I didn’t have to do much anyway,” Victor said truthfully after Yuuri mentioned the article. “You aren’t technically unsound. Any jumps you’re missing I can help you with. I can also help with your confidence too. I’ve seen you win, Yuuri. I know you can aim higher.”

Skating on the same level as Victor had been his goal for years; now he had a new one. He would be going up against Victor again at the Grand Prix Final and Worlds. It was then he knew he wanted nothing else than to beat Victor.

It felt like that season went by in a blur. In Barcelona, on what ended up being the night before the competition, Yuuri proposed under fairy lights next to a choir in a local cathedral.

There was a change forthcoming in the skating world—and Yuuri was the one leading it. Victor said he’d never been more happy to receive a silver medal, two in fact.  Phichit also made good on his promise of a podium finish and won bronze at the Grand Prix while a younger skater named Otabek Altin took bronze during Worlds.

Yuuri knew that Victor was being honest, but he still wondered if he was upset with the way his competitive career ended. He would always be the Living Legend, but he wasn’t undefeated. Nor was he considered unbeatable, his reputation was compromised—

“You say I was compromised,” Victor said as he hung Yuuri’s medals next to his own, observing that he’d need more space for Yuuri’s future medals. “I’d call it closure.”

“Closure?” Yuuri questioned. 

Victor was completely moved into Yuuri’s home in Hasetsu now. He’d even let his lease on his apartment in St. Petersburg run out. This was real--Yuuri thought with more optimism than he remembered having felt before—he was really here. Permanently. He was  _staying._

“This past year I spent with you, then competing against you... I now recognize where I was, Yuuri.” Victor continued. “I’d accomplished everything there was to accomplish. Yet every year I felt like I had to do it all again, but better. Before last summer I was planning to take a break. What I didn’t know is that I had other options... until I met you.”

Victor closed the case with a metallic click, the sound echoing in the room where they were sitting together on the floor in Victor’s room. It was their room technically, as Yuuri now spent every night there.

“Losing to you was the closure I didn’t know I was looking for,” He said softly, expression so fond Yuuri was sure his heart would combust. 

Victor had a pensive look on his face and Yuuri reached over, lacing their fingers together. Victor immediately squeezed back.

“I think,” He continued. “There would’ve come a time, even a few years from now, when I’d look back on my career and feel unsatisfied and bitter. I was tired, Yuuri. I can’t remember the last time I’d felt inspired. I’d forgotten what it felt like to love the ice, but...”

Yuuri felt solemn as he listened to Victor’s confession. He’d been right, he realized. That look in Victor’s eyes when he got to see him up close and not through photos and a camera lens. Victor had been depressed and didn’t even know it. No one could tell either. As someone who’d lived through depressive spells for years it only made Yuuri’s heart ache. He couldn’t wish that on anyone, let alone someone he loved.

Victor pivoted to face him fully and lifted Yuuri’s other hand. He held both their hands up between them.

“Now I think when I look back on my career, I’ll see a story that came to its natural conclusion. When I was defeated in competition, it felt like I was free. You did that.” Throughout his confession he’d begun gingerly kissing the tips of Yuuri’s fingers, almost worshipful. 

He paused his ministrations. “And I can’t think of anyone better to pass that torch to...” He concluded. “Now it’s time I move on. I want to see someone else reach that pinnacle.” 

He took Yuuri's hand and gently kissed his palm. “But unlike me, you won’t be alone when you do it,” He promised.

“Victor...”

Yuuri sniffed and removed his glasses to wipe at his eyes. He didn’t even know when he started crying but it didn’t matter. After he placed them on the floor next to them he launched himself into Victor’s arms. There wasn’t anything he could do to take away Victor’s past hurt, but he could be there for him now. He  _would_ be there for him. He had a matching gold ring as proof of that commitment. 

There were times when he felt like he could drown in his love for Victor, it helped knowing the feeling was mutual.

Yuuri didn’t know what to say to Victor’s desire to see him succeed. He hadn’t mentioned it yet, but he’d amicably parted ways with Celestino after the season concluded. Winning a gold medal through beating Victor had been his goal; something he realized he’d wanted to do in Sochi too. As overwhelming as it was, he’d accomplished that. Twice. Yuuri didn’t know what was left for him if he continued.

Shortly after Victor talked about wanting to retire. The reality of a skating world without Victor made Yuuri mournful, but after hearing about how much skating ended up taking out of him, he understood. Then an idea struck him. Victor had a way of giving good advice, maybe he could apply that? Offhandedly Yuuri suggested he could coach. 

Victor looked surprised but said nothing. He liked to retreat to his thoughts quite a bit, Yuuri had noticed.

Yuuri wished he could take it back. His own thoughts always sounded better in his head. Out loud they usually sounded ridiculous.

It wasn’t so ridiculous however when a week passed, just before winter gave way to spring, that Victor announced that was exactly what he wanted to do. Not only that, but he wanted to coach  _him_. He also believed Yuuri could score even higher.

“In fact,” Victor said and fixed him with a studious look. “I think you could even beat my combined total. What do you say, Yuuri? I won’t be easy on you. Only because I want to see you reach further than your wildest imagination. That’s how I’ll show my love.”

Yuuri—after sputtering for a good five minutes—finally agreed. If because he wanted nothing more than to stay with Victor long after he retired--now his fiancé and coach. Thanks to Victor, he also had a new goal to strive towards.

Winter had quickly become Yuuri’s favorite season.


End file.
